The Book of Shadows is an important tool for a witch. It is a place where you can keep records of all aspects of your magickal and spiritual journey. It is something of a diary to record your research, thoughts, spells. chants, incantations, poems, essays, recipes, even dream interpretations and aspirations.
It is a very personal thing for each person. There is no one certain way that you have to do it. Every witch creates his or her own unique Book of Shadows, so it is difficult to say how one should be written. But there are a few general outlines that most people follow. That is what this is meant to be, a general outline. When you sit down to start yours, it will take on your personality and be unique from anyone else's.
Some people believe that a BOS should be handwritten in order to transfer the energy of the writer into the spell. I agree with this to a certain extent, I do think that spells, chants, and incantations should be hand written. However, I see nothing wrong with using a computer to print out your research, herb and tree lore, history, beliefs and things of that sort. A computer can make it look nice and be much easier to assemble. If you do choose to hand write all or part of your BOS, be sure to make legibly so that you can read it later. Some people even use a computer disk to keep information for their BOS. The pages can easily be printed out for use in an actually book.
The actually construction of you Book of Shadows can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. A very simple method is to begin with a blank notebook and start writing. Beautifully bound and covered volumes are available for purchase, if you wish. That is fine, but it isn't really necessary.
One of the simplest and most popular method is to purchase a three-ring binder and add pages. This way, you can arrange rearrange the pages as often as you wish. It is also a good idea to put page protectors so the pages do not get messed up with use. You can make your own beautiful cover for it that will be unique to yours.
This is how I make mine. I actually have 5 at this point; 3 are spells, poems, magickal ethics, and things like that. 1 is the history and lore of the Celtic tradition and the other is the history and lore of the Faery tradition. I also have separate journals for tarot and runes, as well as for my essays.
Be mindful of the laws of your tradition or coven. Keep them at the front of your book at as a reminder of what is acceptable behavior and what is not. If you are solitary or eclectic or both, you can use the beginning to write about what you think is acceptable and what isn't. Set some guidelines for yourself. If you are a member of a coven, you probably should include a copy of your dedication ceremony here also. If you have dedicated yourself to a God or Goddess on your own, this a good place to announce that as well. A simple line saying that you dedicate yourself to whatever Deity you choose is fine.
Below is a general guideline for what you might want to include. Arrange it how it feels right to you.
A dedication
Copy of your dedication ceremony
A protection spell for the book
A blessing
Table of Contents
Glossary of Terms
Pagan Traditions
Magickal Ethics (The Wiccan Rede, Law of the Three-Fold Return, etc.)
Beliefs
Wheel of the Year
Sabbats
Tree Lore
Herbalism
Moon Phases
Crystal Healing
Reiki
Aura Studies
Tools
Fairy Lore
Dragon Lore
Mythology
Paranormal Studies
Humor
Rituals & Spells:
Circle Casting
Cleansing and Consecration
Blessings
Meditations
Prayers
Candle Magick
Ritual Construction
Rites of Passage
Invocations
Chants
Music
Sabbat Rituals
Correspondences for:
Color magick
Crystal, gemstones, and minerals,
Elements
Planets and Planetary hours
Herbs, Plants, and Tress
Animal Totems
Oils
Incenses
Days of the Week
Magickal Symbolism and Alphabets
Divination Information and Studies:
Dowsing
Tarot Cards
Runes
Astrology
Scrying
Pendulum
Palm Reading
Aura Studies
Tealeaves
Numerology
I-ching
Ouiji
Recipes for:
Ritual and Sabbat Foods
Bath Salts
Incense
Oils
Candle Making
Herb Blends
If you copy your information from a book or website, remember to write down the source to refer back to later. Including a list of books and websites could also be helpful in case you want to share information with others.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
What Wicca Is & Isn't
What is Wicca?
With so many different paths, beliefs and practices in Wicca, that can be a very difficult question to answer. There are more than a dozen Wiccan groups and even more eclectic and and solitary Wiccans around who practice different variations on a the theme of Wiccan beliefs. The reality is that Wicca can be many things because there is no one set of guidelines to follow. Specifics vary from tradition to tradition. But there are few things that just about every Wicca can agree on.
Wicca is not ancient belief system, but it is based heavily on pre-Christian beliefs from Europe. Although much of the actual history of that time has been lost, we can try to reconstruct how they lived and believed from the little information that has been recovered.
Wiccans deeply love and revere nature because we see the Divine in all of nature. All life is precious; people, animals, tress, the grass, flowers, insects, etc. Because of this, it is easy to understand why many Wiccans are also environmentalists. For this reason, Wiccans do not build structures to be used as churchs. Our holy places are nature. Forests, fields, beaches, mountains and all of the outside world are Wiccan scared places.
Wiccan services are called Ritual. We sing, dance, chant and celebrate life as we call upon the Divine. Rituals are personal and private for Wiccans and they are all different depending on the person or people performing them. Most rituals include the burning of candles and incense, calling upon our gods and goddess, and self-reflection as well. Truthfully, a ritual can be anything you want it to be. From a bath to a dance in the forest at midnight, it is up to you.
The Divine can be both male and female. Most Wiccan paths honor both a god and goddess and both are equal. One is no more important than the other. Many Deities can be honored at once, but there is usually a divine female called "The Goddess" and divine male called "The God". In general, The Goddess is the mother, the giver of life, the wise woman, and sharper of the world. The God is the giver of energy and life. He is the Horned One, the `God of the forest, the grain and the hunt. It is an individual choice of what gods and goddess to worship.
Wiccans celebrate holidays, called Sabbats, based on the cycle of the seasons and the turning of the Earth. There also monthly Esbats.
The concept of karma and afterlife is important to most Wiccans. Many of us hold with the Law of Threefold Return, with states that what we do in this life will come back to us in the next.
Each person is responsible for their own actions. Personal responsibility is a key concept of Wicca. You must be willing to accept the consequences of our actions, whether in everyday behavior or in magick. The one rule that governs Wiccans ethics is "An it harm none, do as ye will" from the Wiccan Rede. Most people interrupt this to mean that you should never intentionally do harm to another.
Wiccans do not actively recruit. We do not preach to you or try to recruit you into our faith. Wiccans believe that it is important for the individual to find their own path. Respect for other faiths should be an important part of any Wiccan belief system.
Wiccans do not engage animal sacrifice! We do make offerings of food and wine from time to time, but nothing more that we would eat for dinner. There are no ritual killings of animals at all.
Wiccans are not worship Satan. That is Satanism and a completely different sort of religion.
Being Wiccan is not about the clothes you wear either. Almost all Wiccans dress the same way as everyone else. We do often wear ritual robes for our rites, but many other faiths do as well. Even that is not written in stone.There is no way that you must dress in order to be a Wiccan.
What Wicca is, is a peaceful, nature-revering faith that all life to be scared. They are many variables and there is no right or wrong. Each person must search themselves and decide what is best for them on their own terms.
With so many different paths, beliefs and practices in Wicca, that can be a very difficult question to answer. There are more than a dozen Wiccan groups and even more eclectic and and solitary Wiccans around who practice different variations on a the theme of Wiccan beliefs. The reality is that Wicca can be many things because there is no one set of guidelines to follow. Specifics vary from tradition to tradition. But there are few things that just about every Wicca can agree on.
Wicca is not ancient belief system, but it is based heavily on pre-Christian beliefs from Europe. Although much of the actual history of that time has been lost, we can try to reconstruct how they lived and believed from the little information that has been recovered.
Wiccans deeply love and revere nature because we see the Divine in all of nature. All life is precious; people, animals, tress, the grass, flowers, insects, etc. Because of this, it is easy to understand why many Wiccans are also environmentalists. For this reason, Wiccans do not build structures to be used as churchs. Our holy places are nature. Forests, fields, beaches, mountains and all of the outside world are Wiccan scared places.
Wiccan services are called Ritual. We sing, dance, chant and celebrate life as we call upon the Divine. Rituals are personal and private for Wiccans and they are all different depending on the person or people performing them. Most rituals include the burning of candles and incense, calling upon our gods and goddess, and self-reflection as well. Truthfully, a ritual can be anything you want it to be. From a bath to a dance in the forest at midnight, it is up to you.
The Divine can be both male and female. Most Wiccan paths honor both a god and goddess and both are equal. One is no more important than the other. Many Deities can be honored at once, but there is usually a divine female called "The Goddess" and divine male called "The God". In general, The Goddess is the mother, the giver of life, the wise woman, and sharper of the world. The God is the giver of energy and life. He is the Horned One, the `God of the forest, the grain and the hunt. It is an individual choice of what gods and goddess to worship.
Wiccans celebrate holidays, called Sabbats, based on the cycle of the seasons and the turning of the Earth. There also monthly Esbats.
The concept of karma and afterlife is important to most Wiccans. Many of us hold with the Law of Threefold Return, with states that what we do in this life will come back to us in the next.
Each person is responsible for their own actions. Personal responsibility is a key concept of Wicca. You must be willing to accept the consequences of our actions, whether in everyday behavior or in magick. The one rule that governs Wiccans ethics is "An it harm none, do as ye will" from the Wiccan Rede. Most people interrupt this to mean that you should never intentionally do harm to another.
Wiccans do not actively recruit. We do not preach to you or try to recruit you into our faith. Wiccans believe that it is important for the individual to find their own path. Respect for other faiths should be an important part of any Wiccan belief system.
Wiccans do not engage animal sacrifice! We do make offerings of food and wine from time to time, but nothing more that we would eat for dinner. There are no ritual killings of animals at all.
Wiccans are not worship Satan. That is Satanism and a completely different sort of religion.
Being Wiccan is not about the clothes you wear either. Almost all Wiccans dress the same way as everyone else. We do often wear ritual robes for our rites, but many other faiths do as well. Even that is not written in stone.There is no way that you must dress in order to be a Wiccan.
What Wicca is, is a peaceful, nature-revering faith that all life to be scared. They are many variables and there is no right or wrong. Each person must search themselves and decide what is best for them on their own terms.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Pagan Children
Just being Pagan is difficult enough of a task sometimes. Raising children as Pagan is a different story entirely. Many parents with how to go about teaching their children their beliefs. Truthfully though, it doesn't have to be difficult. There are some simple things that you can do with your children which will not only teach them, but be fun for you and them both.
One of easiest things that you can do is to tell your children stories. All children love to sit and listen to stories of heroes, fairies, gods and goddesses. Use story time to tell your children myths and legends associated with your beliefs.
Another very simply things that you can do with your children is to sign songs and do chants. There are many different songs and chants out for Pagan children that are simple and easy to learn. You can even help them make up there own little songs and rhythms to celebrate the earth and nature.
You can also let your kids do drum circles. You don't even have to buy a drum. Use coffee cans or pots and pans from the kitchen. Or get two sticks and let the hit them together. A wooden stool and a stick is a wonderful percussion instrument. Collect a bunch of instruments for everyone and sit around drum. Have a Family Drumming Circle and let everyone participate. What could be more fun? The children will have a blast with this one!
Why not teach your child how to set their very own alter? What better way to include them in the Craft? It can be very simple. It doesn't have to be elaborate or even look very much like an adult alter. Instead of candles, let have a small lamp or flashlight. Take them on walks in the forest or the beach. Let them collect things that they love to include on their alter. Small shells, leaves, twigs, pine cones, or flowers would be perfect. Give them a special family photo to add. Instead on incense, use a sachet with a scent they love. Anything they want to include is fine and it helps them to feel like they are a part of things.
Teach them about Nature and how important it is to us. Teach them about herbs and trees and flowers. Show them the right way to treat the Earth now so that they will grow up revering it. To me, there is no nobler achievement than to teach your children to treat the Earth, and all life on it, with love and respect.
Making their own wand would be a perfect addition to their alter as well. When you are out for a walk, let them pick out a stick they like. Bring it home and decorate it however they wish. Add ribbons, glitter, beads, crystals or even charms. Whatever they love.
Childhood is a wonderful time to learn meditation. Even very small children can benefit from what some might call quite time. Lie back and look at the stars or the clouds; or sit on the beach a listen to the ocean for a couple of minutes. For older children, you can guide them through a 10 minute mediation. By the time they reach adulthood, meditation will be a part of their life. What a wonderful stress reliever!
To celebrate the Sabbats, make crafts and decorations with your child. There are lots of books available on the subject and you can even find ideas on the Internet at no cost. They will feel connected to the celebration and be proud of their work as well. It's fun as well!
School age children can even begin their own Book Of Shadows. A blank notebook will work perfectly. They can write down information on Sabbats, the turning of the seasons, even songs and chants that are important to them. As they get older, their information can become more detailed. It will become a treasured artifact of childhood.
Also, be sure to include your children in your Sabbat celebrations. If you want to have a separate, adult celebration that's fine. But I feel like it is important to have a family celebration as well so that the children know you want them to be a part of your faith. If they think you want to include them, they will most likely be more interested in learning.
You see, there are lots of things that you can do to teach you children about Paganism and what you believe. I am sure that you can think of many more things to do with your children as well. The most important thing to remember is to let the have fun and have some yourself as well!
One of easiest things that you can do is to tell your children stories. All children love to sit and listen to stories of heroes, fairies, gods and goddesses. Use story time to tell your children myths and legends associated with your beliefs.
Another very simply things that you can do with your children is to sign songs and do chants. There are many different songs and chants out for Pagan children that are simple and easy to learn. You can even help them make up there own little songs and rhythms to celebrate the earth and nature.
You can also let your kids do drum circles. You don't even have to buy a drum. Use coffee cans or pots and pans from the kitchen. Or get two sticks and let the hit them together. A wooden stool and a stick is a wonderful percussion instrument. Collect a bunch of instruments for everyone and sit around drum. Have a Family Drumming Circle and let everyone participate. What could be more fun? The children will have a blast with this one!
Why not teach your child how to set their very own alter? What better way to include them in the Craft? It can be very simple. It doesn't have to be elaborate or even look very much like an adult alter. Instead of candles, let have a small lamp or flashlight. Take them on walks in the forest or the beach. Let them collect things that they love to include on their alter. Small shells, leaves, twigs, pine cones, or flowers would be perfect. Give them a special family photo to add. Instead on incense, use a sachet with a scent they love. Anything they want to include is fine and it helps them to feel like they are a part of things.
Teach them about Nature and how important it is to us. Teach them about herbs and trees and flowers. Show them the right way to treat the Earth now so that they will grow up revering it. To me, there is no nobler achievement than to teach your children to treat the Earth, and all life on it, with love and respect.
Making their own wand would be a perfect addition to their alter as well. When you are out for a walk, let them pick out a stick they like. Bring it home and decorate it however they wish. Add ribbons, glitter, beads, crystals or even charms. Whatever they love.
Childhood is a wonderful time to learn meditation. Even very small children can benefit from what some might call quite time. Lie back and look at the stars or the clouds; or sit on the beach a listen to the ocean for a couple of minutes. For older children, you can guide them through a 10 minute mediation. By the time they reach adulthood, meditation will be a part of their life. What a wonderful stress reliever!
To celebrate the Sabbats, make crafts and decorations with your child. There are lots of books available on the subject and you can even find ideas on the Internet at no cost. They will feel connected to the celebration and be proud of their work as well. It's fun as well!
School age children can even begin their own Book Of Shadows. A blank notebook will work perfectly. They can write down information on Sabbats, the turning of the seasons, even songs and chants that are important to them. As they get older, their information can become more detailed. It will become a treasured artifact of childhood.
Also, be sure to include your children in your Sabbat celebrations. If you want to have a separate, adult celebration that's fine. But I feel like it is important to have a family celebration as well so that the children know you want them to be a part of your faith. If they think you want to include them, they will most likely be more interested in learning.
You see, there are lots of things that you can do to teach you children about Paganism and what you believe. I am sure that you can think of many more things to do with your children as well. The most important thing to remember is to let the have fun and have some yourself as well!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
You Can Write Your Own Spells!
If you want to use spells that you find in books or that trusted friends give to you, that is fine. There is nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. But you may not want to use other people's spells or you may not be able to find exactly what you are looking for. The fact is, writing your own spells is not hard and can be an intensely spiritual act. If you follow are few easy steps, you can write you own spell!
First, take some time to figure think about what you want the spell to accomplish. Be clear on this! Do you want to clear your spirit of negativity? Or is it that you want to find the perfect love for you? Do you need a new job? Whatever it is that you want, be sure to state that specifically.
Next, think about what items you want to incorporate into your spell. Do you like working with candles, crystals, or herbs? Find out which candle colors or herb or type of crystal best represents the kind of thing that you wish to accomplish in your spell. You don't have to use any of these items, but using some type of magickal item may increase the power of your spell. Decide what you are most comfortable with depending on your level of experience.
Think about the timing of your spell. If you are a practitioner of moon magick, find out what phase of the moon is best for your spell. The waxing moon is best for positive works and drawing things to you. The waining moon is best for negativity and destructive magick. Just be aware of what you want to accomplish and which phase of the moon is best for you. Also, the day of the week you preform your spell on may be important to you. In many Pagan traditions, the days of the week can be very important aspects of magick. You might want to learn more about this before deciding on when to perform your spell. If you are new to spell writing and spellwork in general, don't get bogged down in the details too much. Follow your instincts. If the timing feels right to you, go for it!
Lastly, think about what you want to say. Do you wish to verbalize what you want? Do you want to say a poem, or do a chant? Do you want to call upon the Deities to help you achieve your goals? This doesn't have to be any complicated. A few words of praise for your Deities of choice and a small wish for their help is all you would really need.It can be as simple or as elaborate as you want to make it. You might even decide not to speak at all, but to use this time on nature, your life, or what you wish to accomplish.
Write your new spell down in your Book Of Shadows and do the ritual whenever you want to. Like I said, it doesn't have to be complicated. Just get out there and do it! If you haven't seen and effect from your spell within a lunar month (28 days) you might want to take another look at it and see what variables can be changed to try again. Don't give up! The sense of accomplishment you get from writing a spell that works for you is amazing!
Blessed Be!
First, take some time to figure think about what you want the spell to accomplish. Be clear on this! Do you want to clear your spirit of negativity? Or is it that you want to find the perfect love for you? Do you need a new job? Whatever it is that you want, be sure to state that specifically.
Next, think about what items you want to incorporate into your spell. Do you like working with candles, crystals, or herbs? Find out which candle colors or herb or type of crystal best represents the kind of thing that you wish to accomplish in your spell. You don't have to use any of these items, but using some type of magickal item may increase the power of your spell. Decide what you are most comfortable with depending on your level of experience.
Think about the timing of your spell. If you are a practitioner of moon magick, find out what phase of the moon is best for your spell. The waxing moon is best for positive works and drawing things to you. The waining moon is best for negativity and destructive magick. Just be aware of what you want to accomplish and which phase of the moon is best for you. Also, the day of the week you preform your spell on may be important to you. In many Pagan traditions, the days of the week can be very important aspects of magick. You might want to learn more about this before deciding on when to perform your spell. If you are new to spell writing and spellwork in general, don't get bogged down in the details too much. Follow your instincts. If the timing feels right to you, go for it!
Lastly, think about what you want to say. Do you wish to verbalize what you want? Do you want to say a poem, or do a chant? Do you want to call upon the Deities to help you achieve your goals? This doesn't have to be any complicated. A few words of praise for your Deities of choice and a small wish for their help is all you would really need.It can be as simple or as elaborate as you want to make it. You might even decide not to speak at all, but to use this time on nature, your life, or what you wish to accomplish.
Write your new spell down in your Book Of Shadows and do the ritual whenever you want to. Like I said, it doesn't have to be complicated. Just get out there and do it! If you haven't seen and effect from your spell within a lunar month (28 days) you might want to take another look at it and see what variables can be changed to try again. Don't give up! The sense of accomplishment you get from writing a spell that works for you is amazing!
Blessed Be!
Friday, October 26, 2007
The Blood Moon
Tonight, Oct. 26, is the Blood moon, sometimes called the Hunter's Moon, This moon mark's the beginning of the Third Harvest, when people are bringing in the last of the crops from their fields. Everyone is making making ready for winter. This is as true today as it was in ancient times.
It is time for the Hunts to begin as well. Animals were hunted and domesticated animals slaughtered, dressed and stored to be eaten during long winter to come. In days passed, this became known as the Blood Moon in remembrance of the animals that were sacrificed so that the people could have food.
All of nature makes ready for the deep winter as well. Animals gathered the last of the food they will need for the winter. Birds fly south to warmer climates. Even plants and trees recede for the cold winter to come.
In modern times, the Blood Moon should serve as a reminder that we should prepare for the coming winter. Check you food stores to make sure you have extra on hand in case of bad weather, But extra batteries for radios and flashlights. Check your smoke alarm. Have your car serviced and the tires checked to be sure it is winter ready.
Magickally speaking this is an amazingly powerful time! Spells of protection are best done during the Blood Moon. Magick to remove negativity and stress are good when worked on this night as well. Set new goals and reflect on your accomplishments of the year past. This is the prefect time forming growing and learning spiriutally.
Divination takes on a special power on the night of the Blood Moon. Practioners of all forms of divination use the enhanced powers tonight. Be it divining rods, tarot cards, runes, casting stones, or any other type of divining; all are better when done during the Blood Moon.
Do something special tonight. Bless your home, work protective spells for yourself and your family, take a ritual bath. Whatever you want to do to mark the Blood Moon. Don't forget to reflect on the year past and prepared for the winter to come.
It is time for the Hunts to begin as well. Animals were hunted and domesticated animals slaughtered, dressed and stored to be eaten during long winter to come. In days passed, this became known as the Blood Moon in remembrance of the animals that were sacrificed so that the people could have food.
All of nature makes ready for the deep winter as well. Animals gathered the last of the food they will need for the winter. Birds fly south to warmer climates. Even plants and trees recede for the cold winter to come.
In modern times, the Blood Moon should serve as a reminder that we should prepare for the coming winter. Check you food stores to make sure you have extra on hand in case of bad weather, But extra batteries for radios and flashlights. Check your smoke alarm. Have your car serviced and the tires checked to be sure it is winter ready.
Magickally speaking this is an amazingly powerful time! Spells of protection are best done during the Blood Moon. Magick to remove negativity and stress are good when worked on this night as well. Set new goals and reflect on your accomplishments of the year past. This is the prefect time forming growing and learning spiriutally.
Divination takes on a special power on the night of the Blood Moon. Practioners of all forms of divination use the enhanced powers tonight. Be it divining rods, tarot cards, runes, casting stones, or any other type of divining; all are better when done during the Blood Moon.
Do something special tonight. Bless your home, work protective spells for yourself and your family, take a ritual bath. Whatever you want to do to mark the Blood Moon. Don't forget to reflect on the year past and prepared for the winter to come.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
The History And Symbolism Of Samhain
Samhain is my favorite Sabbat and my favorite time of year. It has a wonderfully colorful and magical history as well.
Samhain is one of the four Greater Sabbats. Pronounced SOW-in in Ireland, SAH-vin in Scotland, or, more commonly in modern times, SAM-hayne; it means "End od Summer. This is the thrid and final Harvest of the year and marks the beginning of winter. It is commonly celebrated on October 31st, but some traditions celebrate on November 1st.
Samhain is known by many names, Third Harvest, Samana, Vigil of Samana, Day of the Dead, Old Hallowmas (Scottish/Celtic), Shadowfest (Strega), and Samhuinn. It may also be called All Hallow's Eve, although this day actually falls on November 7th; or Martinmas, which is actually on November 11th.
Samhain is a most magical night! Just as on Beltane, the barrier that is general present between our world and the spirit world is lifted. Departed spirits journey through this world on their way to Summerland. For this reason, it is easier to communicate with our ancestors and those loved ones that have departed. Since it is the beginning of the deep, dark winter, it is time for studying Dark Mysteries. We should honer the Dark Mother and Dark Father, symbolized by the Crone and her consort, at this time as well.
It was originally celebrated in Celtic countries as the "Feast of the Dead". Food was left as offerings on alters and doorsteps for the spirits of the dead journeying to Summerland. Many pagans still hold to this tradition in modern times. A single candle is lit and placed in a window as a guide to bring the spirits of our ancestors home. Extra chairs are set at table and around the hearth for the spirits to know they are welcome. In olden times, apples were buried along the roadsides and paths, for the spirits that were lost or who had no one left in this world to welcome them into their homes.
This was a night for magic and mischief! Turnips were hollowed out and carved to look like protective spirits. In modern times, we use pumpkins instead of turnips. The Wee Folk; fairies, gnomes and the like; came out to play pranks on humans. It was not advised to travel after dark. To fool the Wee Folk and the spirits, people dressed in white to look like ghosts, or wore disguises made of straw, or even dressed as the opposite gender. This is were the custom of wearing Halloween costumes comes from.
This was also when livestock were slaughtered and put away to ensure meat would be available during the dark winter. Crops had to be harvested before Samhain. If any were still in the field, they were left as an offerings to the natural spirits.
Known in olden times as Bonefires; bonfires were built after feasting and the bones were thrown into the fire. These were offerings to ensure healthy livestock the next year. Stones were marked with the names of people and cast into the fire, to be retrieved the next morning. The condition of the stones was said to fortell the future of that person in the year to come. All of the homes in a village lit their hearth fire from the village's bonfire. This was said to ensure unity of the village in the coming year. The ashes from the bonfire were spread across the harvested fields to protect and bless the land.
Symbolism of Samhain
Third Harvest, the Dark Mysteries, Rebirth through Death
Symbols of Samhain
Gourds, Apples, Black Cats, Jack-O-Lanterns, Besoms
Colors of Samhain
Black, Orange, White, Silver, Gold
Incense of Samhain
Heliotrope, Mint, Nutmeg
Herbs of Samhain
Mugwort, Allspice, Broom, Catnip. Deadly Nightshade, Mandrake, Oak Leaves, Sage and Straw
Foods of Samhain
Turnips, Apples, Gourds, Nuts, Mulled Wines, Beef, Pork, Poultry
Stones of Samhain
All Black Stones, preferably jet or obsidian
Sources: The Celtic Connection www.wicca.com
A night of mischief and magick! by Anna Caldwell
Samhain is one of the four Greater Sabbats. Pronounced SOW-in in Ireland, SAH-vin in Scotland, or, more commonly in modern times, SAM-hayne; it means "End od Summer. This is the thrid and final Harvest of the year and marks the beginning of winter. It is commonly celebrated on October 31st, but some traditions celebrate on November 1st.
Samhain is known by many names, Third Harvest, Samana, Vigil of Samana, Day of the Dead, Old Hallowmas (Scottish/Celtic), Shadowfest (Strega), and Samhuinn. It may also be called All Hallow's Eve, although this day actually falls on November 7th; or Martinmas, which is actually on November 11th.
Samhain is a most magical night! Just as on Beltane, the barrier that is general present between our world and the spirit world is lifted. Departed spirits journey through this world on their way to Summerland. For this reason, it is easier to communicate with our ancestors and those loved ones that have departed. Since it is the beginning of the deep, dark winter, it is time for studying Dark Mysteries. We should honer the Dark Mother and Dark Father, symbolized by the Crone and her consort, at this time as well.
It was originally celebrated in Celtic countries as the "Feast of the Dead". Food was left as offerings on alters and doorsteps for the spirits of the dead journeying to Summerland. Many pagans still hold to this tradition in modern times. A single candle is lit and placed in a window as a guide to bring the spirits of our ancestors home. Extra chairs are set at table and around the hearth for the spirits to know they are welcome. In olden times, apples were buried along the roadsides and paths, for the spirits that were lost or who had no one left in this world to welcome them into their homes.
This was a night for magic and mischief! Turnips were hollowed out and carved to look like protective spirits. In modern times, we use pumpkins instead of turnips. The Wee Folk; fairies, gnomes and the like; came out to play pranks on humans. It was not advised to travel after dark. To fool the Wee Folk and the spirits, people dressed in white to look like ghosts, or wore disguises made of straw, or even dressed as the opposite gender. This is were the custom of wearing Halloween costumes comes from.
This was also when livestock were slaughtered and put away to ensure meat would be available during the dark winter. Crops had to be harvested before Samhain. If any were still in the field, they were left as an offerings to the natural spirits.
Known in olden times as Bonefires; bonfires were built after feasting and the bones were thrown into the fire. These were offerings to ensure healthy livestock the next year. Stones were marked with the names of people and cast into the fire, to be retrieved the next morning. The condition of the stones was said to fortell the future of that person in the year to come. All of the homes in a village lit their hearth fire from the village's bonfire. This was said to ensure unity of the village in the coming year. The ashes from the bonfire were spread across the harvested fields to protect and bless the land.
Symbolism of Samhain
Third Harvest, the Dark Mysteries, Rebirth through Death
Symbols of Samhain
Gourds, Apples, Black Cats, Jack-O-Lanterns, Besoms
Colors of Samhain
Black, Orange, White, Silver, Gold
Incense of Samhain
Heliotrope, Mint, Nutmeg
Herbs of Samhain
Mugwort, Allspice, Broom, Catnip. Deadly Nightshade, Mandrake, Oak Leaves, Sage and Straw
Foods of Samhain
Turnips, Apples, Gourds, Nuts, Mulled Wines, Beef, Pork, Poultry
Stones of Samhain
All Black Stones, preferably jet or obsidian
Sources: The Celtic Connection www.wicca.com
A night of mischief and magick! by Anna Caldwell
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The Science Of Magic
Most people who became interested in Wicca do so because they first have and interest in magic. It is, of course, only small part of Wicca as a religion. But if you think about in as a whole, Wicca is all about magic. Wicca is about creation, spiritual growth and transformation. Magic is all of those things.
Everything is composed of energy. Everything that you see, everything that you touch and much that you cannot see or touch is made of energy. In fact, you are also made of energy. Your body, which seems so solid, is made of endless numbers of microscopic particles held together at the sub-atomic level by energy.
Modern day scientists have discovered this. But the Druids of Europe, untold many years ago, knew this as well. The witches that came after them did not forget and this knowledge has been passed down from generation to generation in many pagan religions.
If you have read the ancient maxin, "AS ABOVE, SO BELOW" you will understand this. Just as we live is a vast universe filled with countless stellar bodies, whole universes of a different nature exists within us. Worlds exist within other worlds.
The electro-magnetic energy that holds electrons and protons and other microscopic particles together goes by many different names. In Asia it is known as Chi. In Polynesia it is Mana. The Iroquois called in Orenda. In Germany it was Od. Even in Stars Wars it existed as the Force. In modern times it is most widely known as Psychic Energy. No matter it's name, it is all energy.
Energy constantly evolves, transforms and renews. It is always in motion. This motion is in response to our thoughts and emotions. Most of us are unaware of it. An even smaller group are those who truly understand what is happening. It takes it's shape from us. It reacts to us. It happens naturally and instantly, just as water behaves when you place your hand into. It gives way and reforms around your hand. This is so with energy as well.
However, if you were to bring your conscience mind to this process, it would be entirely different. This natural occurrence that is outside of our control would become an exact and conscience tool that we can control. That is MAGIC! The art of consciously focusing and controlling energy.
Magic cannot be done on an everyday conscience level though. Magic requires a much high level of consciousness in order to work. This is sometimes called the Higher Self or the Alpha State. It is not hard to reach this level. However, it is sometimes hard to learn how to reach it. It takes much practice and effort to do. Once you are experienced, it will come as naturally as breathing.
Everything is composed of energy. Everything that you see, everything that you touch and much that you cannot see or touch is made of energy. In fact, you are also made of energy. Your body, which seems so solid, is made of endless numbers of microscopic particles held together at the sub-atomic level by energy.
Modern day scientists have discovered this. But the Druids of Europe, untold many years ago, knew this as well. The witches that came after them did not forget and this knowledge has been passed down from generation to generation in many pagan religions.
If you have read the ancient maxin, "AS ABOVE, SO BELOW" you will understand this. Just as we live is a vast universe filled with countless stellar bodies, whole universes of a different nature exists within us. Worlds exist within other worlds.
The electro-magnetic energy that holds electrons and protons and other microscopic particles together goes by many different names. In Asia it is known as Chi. In Polynesia it is Mana. The Iroquois called in Orenda. In Germany it was Od. Even in Stars Wars it existed as the Force. In modern times it is most widely known as Psychic Energy. No matter it's name, it is all energy.
Energy constantly evolves, transforms and renews. It is always in motion. This motion is in response to our thoughts and emotions. Most of us are unaware of it. An even smaller group are those who truly understand what is happening. It takes it's shape from us. It reacts to us. It happens naturally and instantly, just as water behaves when you place your hand into. It gives way and reforms around your hand. This is so with energy as well.
However, if you were to bring your conscience mind to this process, it would be entirely different. This natural occurrence that is outside of our control would become an exact and conscience tool that we can control. That is MAGIC! The art of consciously focusing and controlling energy.
Magic cannot be done on an everyday conscience level though. Magic requires a much high level of consciousness in order to work. This is sometimes called the Higher Self or the Alpha State. It is not hard to reach this level. However, it is sometimes hard to learn how to reach it. It takes much practice and effort to do. Once you are experienced, it will come as naturally as breathing.
The Fairy Tradition of Wicca
I think of myself as eclectic Wiccan. In reality, I lean heavily toward Celtic beliefs with a heavy emphasis of The Fairy Tradition of Wicca. I am asked alot about what the Fairy Tradition (also known as Faery, Fey, or Feri) is all about. So I thought that I would describe it here.
This description is about what the true definition is, not exactly what I personally believe. I will talk more about that at a later date. For now, we will stick to the Fairy Tradition as a whole.
Fairy Wiccan emphasizes sensual awareness and experiences, rather than fertility as many Wiccan traditions do. It is gender and sexual orientation neutral. There are no specific laws governing behavior as there are with many other traditions. Initiates see themselves as "Fey' when enchanted. Meaning, t here is no black, no white. But rather beyond the bounds of social definitions. Much of this path's realities boundaries are undefined. Followers realize that much of their world is unseen and unknown.
The use of Fairy Power, an energy current, is probably the most distinguishing feature of the this path.
Nature is deeply respected. Wisdom comes from nature. Their is a deep-seated love for beauty, creativity, art and music.
The Gods of the Fairy Tradition are real. The have a separate sense of morality and followers of this tradition are responsible to them. There is a real sense of relationship between Deity and practitioner. Trances and meditations are often used to achieve this connection.
At the basis of most branches of this traditions are doctrines of the Three Souls, the Black Heart of Innocence, and the Iron and Pearl pentacles. Followers are encouraged never waste or give away any personal energy. Techniques to turn negative energy into positive energy are encouraged.
This description is about what the true definition is, not exactly what I personally believe. I will talk more about that at a later date. For now, we will stick to the Fairy Tradition as a whole.
Fairy Wiccan emphasizes sensual awareness and experiences, rather than fertility as many Wiccan traditions do. It is gender and sexual orientation neutral. There are no specific laws governing behavior as there are with many other traditions. Initiates see themselves as "Fey' when enchanted. Meaning, t here is no black, no white. But rather beyond the bounds of social definitions. Much of this path's realities boundaries are undefined. Followers realize that much of their world is unseen and unknown.
The use of Fairy Power, an energy current, is probably the most distinguishing feature of the this path.
Nature is deeply respected. Wisdom comes from nature. Their is a deep-seated love for beauty, creativity, art and music.
The Gods of the Fairy Tradition are real. The have a separate sense of morality and followers of this tradition are responsible to them. There is a real sense of relationship between Deity and practitioner. Trances and meditations are often used to achieve this connection.
At the basis of most branches of this traditions are doctrines of the Three Souls, the Black Heart of Innocence, and the Iron and Pearl pentacles. Followers are encouraged never waste or give away any personal energy. Techniques to turn negative energy into positive energy are encouraged.
Monday, October 22, 2007
The Wiccan Rede - My Thoughts
I talk a lot about the Rede in both my writings and in my everyday life as well. It is an important part of my faith and my work. Since I teach and mentor those on the Wiccan Path, is important that I understand fully what the Rede means to people. The fact is that it is open to some interpretation.
Everyone's view of it could be different. To me, it is a guideline for living. I took many parts of it and wrote my views on what it means. I share that with my students. However, I am always careful to let people know that it is important that they figure out what it means to them on an individual basis.
This is how I interpret it.
Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust. Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.
Put your faith and trust in the Wiccan way of live. Hold it dear in your heart. Take only what you need and share what you can spare.
For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out. To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.
Follow strictly the ritual so that the magick is used for good and cannot be corrupted.
Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much. Honor the Old Ones in deed and name, let love and light be our guides again.
Think careful of what you say before you speak. Have a gentle spirit and a loving soul. Hold your ancestors in high esteem and honor their memory in all that you do. Let their spirits guide you on your path.
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune. Widdershins go when the moon doth wane,and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.
When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two. When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.
The moon's cycles are powerful. Know their meaning and use it for the best magick.
Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail. When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.
When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth. When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.
Honor the changing of the seasons.
Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow. Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.
Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.
Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland. Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.
Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning.White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.
Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine. Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.
Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be. Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.
Nature and trees have deep meaning . Learn the lore of the woods. Learn the meaning of the trees. Honor them for they are powerful. Do not harm the woods because it would be the same as harming yourself. Celebrate the season's change with the Sabbats.
As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain. When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.
When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn. As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.
Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all. When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.
In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way. When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.
Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall. Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.
This describes the Sabbats and when to celebrate them, as well as their meaning. The Sabbats are the most important Wiccan days.
Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know. When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.
I believe this talks about divination. It also seems to state that if you need something do not go overboard. Ask only for what you need, nothing more.
With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend. Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Be careful of those you count among your friends. Be sure, to the best of your ability, that they are of a good and loving heart. Hold your good friends dearly and in warmest regards.
Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good. When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.
Everything that you do, both good and bad, will come back to you three times.
Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.
If you love truly, your love will be returned. If your love is love, false love will come back to you.
These Eight words the Rede fulfill:
"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"
I feel that this is the most important statement in all of Wicca. What it means is clear. You can do anything you wish, as long as you do not harm anyone. In my personal life, I extend that to mean do not harm animals or nature either. All life to me is scared.
These are just my thoughts. If your interpretations different, that's fine. I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter as well.
Blessed Be
Everyone's view of it could be different. To me, it is a guideline for living. I took many parts of it and wrote my views on what it means. I share that with my students. However, I am always careful to let people know that it is important that they figure out what it means to them on an individual basis.
This is how I interpret it.
Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust. Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.
Put your faith and trust in the Wiccan way of live. Hold it dear in your heart. Take only what you need and share what you can spare.
For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out. To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.
Follow strictly the ritual so that the magick is used for good and cannot be corrupted.
Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much. Honor the Old Ones in deed and name, let love and light be our guides again.
Think careful of what you say before you speak. Have a gentle spirit and a loving soul. Hold your ancestors in high esteem and honor their memory in all that you do. Let their spirits guide you on your path.
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune. Widdershins go when the moon doth wane,and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.
When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two. When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.
The moon's cycles are powerful. Know their meaning and use it for the best magick.
Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail. When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.
When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth. When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.
Honor the changing of the seasons.
Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow. Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.
Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.
Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland. Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.
Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning.White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.
Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine. Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.
Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be. Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.
Nature and trees have deep meaning . Learn the lore of the woods. Learn the meaning of the trees. Honor them for they are powerful. Do not harm the woods because it would be the same as harming yourself. Celebrate the season's change with the Sabbats.
As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain. When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.
When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn. As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.
Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all. When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.
In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way. When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.
Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall. Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.
This describes the Sabbats and when to celebrate them, as well as their meaning. The Sabbats are the most important Wiccan days.
Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know. When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.
I believe this talks about divination. It also seems to state that if you need something do not go overboard. Ask only for what you need, nothing more.
With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend. Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Be careful of those you count among your friends. Be sure, to the best of your ability, that they are of a good and loving heart. Hold your good friends dearly and in warmest regards.
Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good. When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.
Everything that you do, both good and bad, will come back to you three times.
Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.
If you love truly, your love will be returned. If your love is love, false love will come back to you.
These Eight words the Rede fulfill:
"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"
I feel that this is the most important statement in all of Wicca. What it means is clear. You can do anything you wish, as long as you do not harm anyone. In my personal life, I extend that to mean do not harm animals or nature either. All life to me is scared.
These are just my thoughts. If your interpretations different, that's fine. I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter as well.
Blessed Be
Saturday, October 20, 2007
The Wiccan Rede
Of course I didn't write it. I do love to read it though. I will post an essay that I wrote about my thoughts on the Wiccan Rede. Until then, here it is.
Bide the Wiccan Rede you must, in perfect love and perfect trust.
Live and let live, fairly take and fairly give.
Cast the circle thrice about, to keep all evil spirits out.
To bind the spell every time, let the spell be spoke in rhyme.
Soft of eye and light of touch, speak ye little and listen much.
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the Witches Rune.
Widdershins go by the wanning moon, chanting out the baneful Rune.
When the Ladys' moon is new, kiss the hand to her times two.
When the moon rides at her peak, then your heart’s desire do seek.
Heed the North winds mighty gale, Lock the door and drop the sail.
When the wind comes from the South, Love will kiss thee on thy mouth.
When the wind comes from the West, Departed souls will have little rest.
When the wind blows from the East, Expect some new and set a feast.
Nine woods in the cauldron go, Burn them fast and burn them slow.
Elder be thy Ladys' tree, Burn it not or cursed be.
When the wheel begins to turn, Let the Beltane fires fully burn.
When the wheel has turned to Yule, light the log for the Horned Ones' Rule. Heed ye flower, bush and tree, By the Lady Blessed Be.
Where the rippling waters go, cast a stone for the truth to know.
When ye have need, Hearken not to others greed.
With a fool no season spend, Lest ye be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part, Bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Mind the threefold Law you should, Three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow, Wear the blue star on your brow.
True in Love ever be, Lest thy love’s false to thee.
Bide the Wiccan Rede you must, in perfect love and perfect trust.
Live and let live, fairly take and fairly give.
Cast the circle thrice about, to keep all evil spirits out.
To bind the spell every time, let the spell be spoke in rhyme.
Soft of eye and light of touch, speak ye little and listen much.
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the Witches Rune.
Widdershins go by the wanning moon, chanting out the baneful Rune.
When the Ladys' moon is new, kiss the hand to her times two.
When the moon rides at her peak, then your heart’s desire do seek.
Heed the North winds mighty gale, Lock the door and drop the sail.
When the wind comes from the South, Love will kiss thee on thy mouth.
When the wind comes from the West, Departed souls will have little rest.
When the wind blows from the East, Expect some new and set a feast.
Nine woods in the cauldron go, Burn them fast and burn them slow.
Elder be thy Ladys' tree, Burn it not or cursed be.
When the wheel begins to turn, Let the Beltane fires fully burn.
When the wheel has turned to Yule, light the log for the Horned Ones' Rule. Heed ye flower, bush and tree, By the Lady Blessed Be.
Where the rippling waters go, cast a stone for the truth to know.
When ye have need, Hearken not to others greed.
With a fool no season spend, Lest ye be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part, Bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Mind the threefold Law you should, Three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow, Wear the blue star on your brow.
True in Love ever be, Lest thy love’s false to thee.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Karma and The Wiccan Principles are at work in my life.
As Wiccan and a witch, I feel that karma is of utmost importance. More importantly, as a mentor and teacher, I feel that I must be above board when it comes to following the Rede and The Law of The Threefold Return. Not only do I believe in them, I teach them as well. But it has not always been so.
I have come to hold these things so tightly in belief because of things that have happened in my life during the last two years. As I am already written, I was given the shop the that I own. I honestly believe that it came to me because of karma.
The lady who owned the shop before, and who simply gave it to me, is a well-regarded teacher in the field of Wicca. She came to live in New Zealand in a rather sort of odd way. She came her to lecture at a university and simply stayed. Why? Even she is not quite sure.
She was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. She has traveled the world and spent time in many beautiful and deeply spiritual places. However, she says that once she stepped off the plane in Christchurch she knew she would stay for a long time. Well, she stayed for 10 years. She says that she returned to the US to be nearer to her grandchildren.
I wonder about that though. The reason is because of how she came to leave New Zealand. She came into the shop one day and announced that she was returning home. Just like that. Maybe she was homesick. But again, I wonder.
Why so I question her motives? It's simple really. Timing. She was in the middle of a big project at the time. She was also in the middle of a Year and a Day program. Then, she simply comes in one day without having mentioned it before and announces that she is leaving the next week.
There is more. I question why she simply gave the shop to me, not that I am complaining at all. The previous week I had told her that when she retired I would like the option to buy the shop from her, even I were working there anymore. She said of course. Then exactly a week later she hands me the papers saying that the shop had been transferred into my name. Strange to say the least.
What do I think that karma has to do with this? I won't go into details because she reads this blog. Let us just say that I had helped her with a very sticky and delicate situation a month earlier when no one else would. I has also been as good a friend as I could to her because she was a good friend to me.
I believe that it was the good karma that I sent off coming back to be in the form of the her giving me the shop.
I have a hundred other examples that I could give you, but we would be here all day. I do want to tell you about one other incident though. This one involving bad karma. It is the really reason that I have changed my view of karma and hold stricter to the Wiccan Principles.
I have a friend, or former friend now, who asked me to do a spell for her that I knew I should not do. I knew that no good could come of it but I did it anyway because she was my friend.
She was having terrible troubles in her marriage. Her husband was cheating on her and she knew it. But she loved him and wanted to stay with him, minus the mistress. The spell she wanted was a special one that make the girl leave her husband alone. It was really sort of a curse if you want to know the truth. My friend begged so I finally agreed despite my better judgement.
We sat down and wrote the spell together and performed it. It was a terrible disaster! The mistress was hit my a speeding car and was gravely injured. She may never walk again.
This time karma really came back at me in a nasty way. I had just bought a car. It wasn't new but it was pretty and it was mine. Two weeks after the mistresses accident, my car caught on fire with myself and my twin daughters inside. Everyone got out safely, but the car was destroyed.
To make matters worse, the insurance company refuses to pay for it because they say I didn't have the car checked my a proper mechanic before I bought it. That's not true. I did have it checked. The company says that you have to have someone on their approved list check it.
Then, because I was without a car, I could not get my shop open on time the next day. My daughters and I rode the Tram and it was delayed. Then we missed the next Tram and had to wait. In all, I was 2 hours late opening my shop. I missed a very important meeting and probably a lot of money in the deal.
I am trying to get my shop's website up and running. The meeting that I missed was with the web designer.
So you see, karma really came back on me. Since then, I have been holding closer with the Wicca Principles because, you see, that was 3 things. 3 things came back to me. The Law of the Threefold Return has made a real believer out of me!
I have come to hold these things so tightly in belief because of things that have happened in my life during the last two years. As I am already written, I was given the shop the that I own. I honestly believe that it came to me because of karma.
The lady who owned the shop before, and who simply gave it to me, is a well-regarded teacher in the field of Wicca. She came to live in New Zealand in a rather sort of odd way. She came her to lecture at a university and simply stayed. Why? Even she is not quite sure.
She was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. She has traveled the world and spent time in many beautiful and deeply spiritual places. However, she says that once she stepped off the plane in Christchurch she knew she would stay for a long time. Well, she stayed for 10 years. She says that she returned to the US to be nearer to her grandchildren.
I wonder about that though. The reason is because of how she came to leave New Zealand. She came into the shop one day and announced that she was returning home. Just like that. Maybe she was homesick. But again, I wonder.
Why so I question her motives? It's simple really. Timing. She was in the middle of a big project at the time. She was also in the middle of a Year and a Day program. Then, she simply comes in one day without having mentioned it before and announces that she is leaving the next week.
There is more. I question why she simply gave the shop to me, not that I am complaining at all. The previous week I had told her that when she retired I would like the option to buy the shop from her, even I were working there anymore. She said of course. Then exactly a week later she hands me the papers saying that the shop had been transferred into my name. Strange to say the least.
What do I think that karma has to do with this? I won't go into details because she reads this blog. Let us just say that I had helped her with a very sticky and delicate situation a month earlier when no one else would. I has also been as good a friend as I could to her because she was a good friend to me.
I believe that it was the good karma that I sent off coming back to be in the form of the her giving me the shop.
I have a hundred other examples that I could give you, but we would be here all day. I do want to tell you about one other incident though. This one involving bad karma. It is the really reason that I have changed my view of karma and hold stricter to the Wiccan Principles.
I have a friend, or former friend now, who asked me to do a spell for her that I knew I should not do. I knew that no good could come of it but I did it anyway because she was my friend.
She was having terrible troubles in her marriage. Her husband was cheating on her and she knew it. But she loved him and wanted to stay with him, minus the mistress. The spell she wanted was a special one that make the girl leave her husband alone. It was really sort of a curse if you want to know the truth. My friend begged so I finally agreed despite my better judgement.
We sat down and wrote the spell together and performed it. It was a terrible disaster! The mistress was hit my a speeding car and was gravely injured. She may never walk again.
This time karma really came back at me in a nasty way. I had just bought a car. It wasn't new but it was pretty and it was mine. Two weeks after the mistresses accident, my car caught on fire with myself and my twin daughters inside. Everyone got out safely, but the car was destroyed.
To make matters worse, the insurance company refuses to pay for it because they say I didn't have the car checked my a proper mechanic before I bought it. That's not true. I did have it checked. The company says that you have to have someone on their approved list check it.
Then, because I was without a car, I could not get my shop open on time the next day. My daughters and I rode the Tram and it was delayed. Then we missed the next Tram and had to wait. In all, I was 2 hours late opening my shop. I missed a very important meeting and probably a lot of money in the deal.
I am trying to get my shop's website up and running. The meeting that I missed was with the web designer.
So you see, karma really came back on me. Since then, I have been holding closer with the Wicca Principles because, you see, that was 3 things. 3 things came back to me. The Law of the Threefold Return has made a real believer out of me!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Climbers
My daughters are 15 months old now and have learned the art of climbing. I am sure they get it from me, as I have always been a climber. I started out climbing trees as a child, now I climb mountains.
I wonder how to keep two 15 month old girls from hurting themselves. I hate to always tell them no, no you can't do that. But it is my duty to make sure they don't hurt themselves. It wasn't so bad when they only climbed into chairs. They have graduated on to bigger things now.
Kaida and Ember planned out a big climb this morning at the shop. Together, they moved a dinning chair up next to a counter while I was not looking. They next thing that I know they have both climbed up on top of the counter and are doing some sort of dance! Scared me to death!
I, in turn, scared them when I grabbed them both off so quickly. I have moved the chairs out of the area where they play now. But I can see in their eyes that they are already plotting new expedition.
What's a frightened, but freespirit loving, mom to do?
I wonder how to keep two 15 month old girls from hurting themselves. I hate to always tell them no, no you can't do that. But it is my duty to make sure they don't hurt themselves. It wasn't so bad when they only climbed into chairs. They have graduated on to bigger things now.
Kaida and Ember planned out a big climb this morning at the shop. Together, they moved a dinning chair up next to a counter while I was not looking. They next thing that I know they have both climbed up on top of the counter and are doing some sort of dance! Scared me to death!
I, in turn, scared them when I grabbed them both off so quickly. I have moved the chairs out of the area where they play now. But I can see in their eyes that they are already plotting new expedition.
What's a frightened, but freespirit loving, mom to do?
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Pagan Dreams (My Journey to the End of The Rainbow
I will be 28 years old on Samain (Oct. 31). When I looked back on my life, I think it as turned out totally different than expected and planned. Please don't get me wrong. I am well pleased with how my life as turned out to this point. It's just that unexpected is not really strong enough of a word to describe it.
I titled this blog pagan dreams because Wicca and paganism as changed my life and, yes, all of my dreams as well. I grew up as Catholic in a strict religious family. To them any beliefs other than their own was unacceptable. Still, I was curious about other faiths.
I read about Wicca early in my teenage years but it was hard it really understand it. I have always been the type of person who learns better hands on than from a book. Wicca was no different. I was intrigued, however, and wanted to learn more.
I went to University in the United States. It was one of the best experiences of my life and ended up changing my life. I attended Mississippi State University in Starkville, Mississippi. I loved every minute of it! I was a social sciences major. There was a guest lecturer who came to campus my junior year. Her name is Anna Caldwell and she is an religious studies expert and also happens to be a Wiccan High Priestess. She is an American lady who just happened to be living in Christchurch, New Zealand (where I am from) at the time. She owned a small Wicca shop and was teaching and mentoring in Wicca.
We talked alot and became very good friends. When I graduated from University and returned to Christchurch, she gave me a job in her shop. I learned everything that I know from her. Anna has really became like a second mother to me.
Two years ago, Anna decided to retire and return to America to be with her family. Before she left she gave me an incredible gift. She gave me her Wicca Shop. Just gave it to me. I was taken aback. No one had ever done anything like that for me and I certainly did not expect it. But Anna insisted that it be mine.
I have to tell you, this shop is what has defined what my life has become. I have met so many incredible people and made such wonderful friends because it. Wicca, and the people who I have met because of my shop, have empowered me to do things that I would never have dreamed of doing when I was younger. Because of them I felt strong enough to ave children as a single mother. I bought a house and a car. Those are major decisions that I would not have been able to make before.
At the same time, it as empowered me to learn more about the environment and to fight to keep nature safe and pure. It has taught me equality and peace as well.
Wicca certainly isn't for everyone, just as other religions are not for everybody. That is what I think is so wonderful about faith in general. It doesn't matter what you believe. The fact that a person has something to believe in is very empowering. I have many friends that are atheists and that is fine for them. But I can't imagine my life without the power that I feel during my rituals and the power that I feel from nature.
I titled this blog pagan dreams because Wicca and paganism as changed my life and, yes, all of my dreams as well. I grew up as Catholic in a strict religious family. To them any beliefs other than their own was unacceptable. Still, I was curious about other faiths.
I read about Wicca early in my teenage years but it was hard it really understand it. I have always been the type of person who learns better hands on than from a book. Wicca was no different. I was intrigued, however, and wanted to learn more.
I went to University in the United States. It was one of the best experiences of my life and ended up changing my life. I attended Mississippi State University in Starkville, Mississippi. I loved every minute of it! I was a social sciences major. There was a guest lecturer who came to campus my junior year. Her name is Anna Caldwell and she is an religious studies expert and also happens to be a Wiccan High Priestess. She is an American lady who just happened to be living in Christchurch, New Zealand (where I am from) at the time. She owned a small Wicca shop and was teaching and mentoring in Wicca.
We talked alot and became very good friends. When I graduated from University and returned to Christchurch, she gave me a job in her shop. I learned everything that I know from her. Anna has really became like a second mother to me.
Two years ago, Anna decided to retire and return to America to be with her family. Before she left she gave me an incredible gift. She gave me her Wicca Shop. Just gave it to me. I was taken aback. No one had ever done anything like that for me and I certainly did not expect it. But Anna insisted that it be mine.
I have to tell you, this shop is what has defined what my life has become. I have met so many incredible people and made such wonderful friends because it. Wicca, and the people who I have met because of my shop, have empowered me to do things that I would never have dreamed of doing when I was younger. Because of them I felt strong enough to ave children as a single mother. I bought a house and a car. Those are major decisions that I would not have been able to make before.
At the same time, it as empowered me to learn more about the environment and to fight to keep nature safe and pure. It has taught me equality and peace as well.
Wicca certainly isn't for everyone, just as other religions are not for everybody. That is what I think is so wonderful about faith in general. It doesn't matter what you believe. The fact that a person has something to believe in is very empowering. I have many friends that are atheists and that is fine for them. But I can't imagine my life without the power that I feel during my rituals and the power that I feel from nature.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
What Wicca Means To Me
People ask me about Wicca a lot. So I have spent a lot of time thinking about what to say to people who are curious at it. I love to talk and teach about Wicca because it is one my true passions in life. I love everything about it. I love the way that it makes me feel. The oneness with the environment for me is key.
I feel the Divine spirit in every little pieces of the world. Every leaf, every butterfly, every blade of grass, every tree and every flower is precious. All life is scared. Even the rocks on the ground and sand on the beach is to be revered. I am drawn in particular to water, although all the elements call to me.
I believe strongly in karma and the Law of Threefold Return. Whatever I do in this life, whether it is for good or for bad, I believe will return to me in my next life.
I feel the spirits of the ones that have gone on before me. I can sense my ancestors around me and watching over me at all times.
I see no inequality amongst people. Everyone, man and woman, regardless of race, are the same. No one is more important than me. I am no more important than anyone else. I honor both female and male gods and goddesses because all are important. Each person has part of the Divine in them. We are each and every one, sacred and individual.
I am responsible for my own actions. In all that I do, whether it is in my everyday life or in my magick, I must accept the consequences. I follow the Rede and therefore agree to Harm None in all aspects of my life.
As important as all of that, I believe that respecting all other faiths is of utmost importance. Every person must find their own path in life. I willing teach and mentor Wicca, but will never try to recruit. It is up to each person to find what they believe and what is best of them.
I hope this explains a little bit of how I approach not only my faith, but also my life.
I feel the Divine spirit in every little pieces of the world. Every leaf, every butterfly, every blade of grass, every tree and every flower is precious. All life is scared. Even the rocks on the ground and sand on the beach is to be revered. I am drawn in particular to water, although all the elements call to me.
I believe strongly in karma and the Law of Threefold Return. Whatever I do in this life, whether it is for good or for bad, I believe will return to me in my next life.
I feel the spirits of the ones that have gone on before me. I can sense my ancestors around me and watching over me at all times.
I see no inequality amongst people. Everyone, man and woman, regardless of race, are the same. No one is more important than me. I am no more important than anyone else. I honor both female and male gods and goddesses because all are important. Each person has part of the Divine in them. We are each and every one, sacred and individual.
I am responsible for my own actions. In all that I do, whether it is in my everyday life or in my magick, I must accept the consequences. I follow the Rede and therefore agree to Harm None in all aspects of my life.
As important as all of that, I believe that respecting all other faiths is of utmost importance. Every person must find their own path in life. I willing teach and mentor Wicca, but will never try to recruit. It is up to each person to find what they believe and what is best of them.
I hope this explains a little bit of how I approach not only my faith, but also my life.
My Mother and Wicca
She is really getting to me these days. She doesn't understand why I am Wiccan. She doesn't understand even what it is and refuses to let me talk to her about it. She is Catholic, as I have mentioned before. To her, everything really that isn't Catholic is bad. Moreover, everything that is not Christian is completely evil. So I am evil and am raising my daughters in evil.
I have tried on many occasions to try to help understand that Wicca is a beautiful. It is an honorable and loving faith, filled with reverence for nature and all forms of life. One of the main ideas of Wicca is the idea of harmony with nature. Harm none is key for me. True not all Wiccans follow the Rede, but I do and many others do as well. Personal responsibility is also key. I am responsible for my actions and, good or bad, I must face the consequences.
I completely respect Catholicism and all other religions as well. I admit not to completely understand all of them. But I love to learn about them. So why can't my own mother return the favor and at least try to learn about my faith?
These last couple of weeks she has be ranting about how badly I am raising my daughters. I am a single mom as will as a witch after all. She even called me on day last week to ask if I had remembered to feed my children. I was appalled that she would think that I was actually neglecting my daughters! I know she doesn't agree with my lifestyle but how could she question me being a good mother? I have given her no reason to think that I do anything but what is best for my daughters.
I just don't know what I can do to make her see that I am a good mother despite what she thinks. I love her to death. She was a good mother, if she was pretty strict. She is a fantastic grandmother! I will never deny that. So why can't just accept me for who I am?
I have tried on many occasions to try to help understand that Wicca is a beautiful. It is an honorable and loving faith, filled with reverence for nature and all forms of life. One of the main ideas of Wicca is the idea of harmony with nature. Harm none is key for me. True not all Wiccans follow the Rede, but I do and many others do as well. Personal responsibility is also key. I am responsible for my actions and, good or bad, I must face the consequences.
I completely respect Catholicism and all other religions as well. I admit not to completely understand all of them. But I love to learn about them. So why can't my own mother return the favor and at least try to learn about my faith?
These last couple of weeks she has be ranting about how badly I am raising my daughters. I am a single mom as will as a witch after all. She even called me on day last week to ask if I had remembered to feed my children. I was appalled that she would think that I was actually neglecting my daughters! I know she doesn't agree with my lifestyle but how could she question me being a good mother? I have given her no reason to think that I do anything but what is best for my daughters.
I just don't know what I can do to make her see that I am a good mother despite what she thinks. I love her to death. She was a good mother, if she was pretty strict. She is a fantastic grandmother! I will never deny that. So why can't just accept me for who I am?
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Another Headache
Well my head is hurting again. It's official. I have to go to the doctor. I still don't want to, but I suppose that I have no choice at this point. I can't really function very well if I am walking around in this fog that comes with the headaches. I am just so scared and worried about what happens if it's another tumor or something as serious as that.
Okay! Okay! I am going to call the doctor today. I got to say though, losing imagined invincibility just sux!
Okay! Okay! I am going to call the doctor today. I got to say though, losing imagined invincibility just sux!
Monday, October 8, 2007
My Mother
I promised that I would tell you about my mother. So, for better or worse, here goes. The first thing that I want to tell you is that I love my mother. I love both of my parents. The two most important things you need to know about Sylvia, (that's my Mom's name), is that she is very religious and that she worked extra hard for our family.
I was an only child. So that put me squarely in the spotlight. I felt like everything that I did was under a microscope. My parents are Catholic. New Zealand is a majority Anglican country, but they somehow manged to stick to their guns and be different. As a result, my mother especially defended her faith ferociously. Even to me. Now I never felt connected to the Catholic faith. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.
When I was 14, my mother discovered me reading a book about Wicca. She hit the roof! Being such a strict Catholic all of her life and never learning about other faiths, she was sure that Wicca was the same as Satanism. Nothing that I could say or do could convince her that she was wrong. My father was bit more willing to listen, but not much. I was forbidden to read or talk or think about anything other than Catholicism.
How do you forbid someone to think about something? Ha! Ask my mother! I think she must be able to read minds. At least she could always read mine. Seriously! I could not get anyway with anything around her. Maybe it's because we are so much alike. In many, many ways we are the same. The only real difference I see now that I am adult and can admit such things to myself, is that we have chosen different spiritual paths. At the time, however, I thought we were from different planets!
The more she tried to pull me away from Wicca, the more I ran to it. I decided to go to University in The States which made my mother really sick. I don't know if it was because I was so far away or if it was because she couldn't control me if I was that far away. But it really hurt her, I think. I don't think she has forgiven me yet.
I was an only child. So that put me squarely in the spotlight. I felt like everything that I did was under a microscope. My parents are Catholic. New Zealand is a majority Anglican country, but they somehow manged to stick to their guns and be different. As a result, my mother especially defended her faith ferociously. Even to me. Now I never felt connected to the Catholic faith. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.
When I was 14, my mother discovered me reading a book about Wicca. She hit the roof! Being such a strict Catholic all of her life and never learning about other faiths, she was sure that Wicca was the same as Satanism. Nothing that I could say or do could convince her that she was wrong. My father was bit more willing to listen, but not much. I was forbidden to read or talk or think about anything other than Catholicism.
How do you forbid someone to think about something? Ha! Ask my mother! I think she must be able to read minds. At least she could always read mine. Seriously! I could not get anyway with anything around her. Maybe it's because we are so much alike. In many, many ways we are the same. The only real difference I see now that I am adult and can admit such things to myself, is that we have chosen different spiritual paths. At the time, however, I thought we were from different planets!
The more she tried to pull me away from Wicca, the more I ran to it. I decided to go to University in The States which made my mother really sick. I don't know if it was because I was so far away or if it was because she couldn't control me if I was that far away. But it really hurt her, I think. I don't think she has forgiven me yet.
Dating
I haven't been on a date since I decided to try and get pregnant. I haven't even went out with a group without my daughters. Then, today, out of the blue a man that I ave known for years asked me out. His name is Erik and he is very handsome! He is pagan as well. That's how I meet him. He is a customer of my shop and has been since I first started working there.
We have a lot in common. As I said, he is pagan, Druid I believe. I am eclectic Wiccan, not too very different. He is an attorney by the way. He also plays rugby. He skydives like me. He does all sorts of adventure sports and so do I. We have always gotten along great. We have lots to talk about.
He likes my daughters as well. But liking them the once or twice a week that he is in the shop is not the same as liking the all the time. How do I know if dating this man is good or bad for my daughters. If it were just me, sure I would go out with him. But I have Ember and Kaide to think about now.
Would it hurt to go out on one date? No, surely not. But what if I really started to like him and it turned out that he couldn't deal with my kids? It's a lot to think about. Being a mom is huge responsibility. I need to make sure that I put them first in everything.
I just don't really know what to do. I know that I have to take a chance eventually or be alone forever. But how do I know that we are ready now? I don't want to miss the chance though. Wow, there is a lot to think about and decide.
We have a lot in common. As I said, he is pagan, Druid I believe. I am eclectic Wiccan, not too very different. He is an attorney by the way. He also plays rugby. He skydives like me. He does all sorts of adventure sports and so do I. We have always gotten along great. We have lots to talk about.
He likes my daughters as well. But liking them the once or twice a week that he is in the shop is not the same as liking the all the time. How do I know if dating this man is good or bad for my daughters. If it were just me, sure I would go out with him. But I have Ember and Kaide to think about now.
Would it hurt to go out on one date? No, surely not. But what if I really started to like him and it turned out that he couldn't deal with my kids? It's a lot to think about. Being a mom is huge responsibility. I need to make sure that I put them first in everything.
I just don't really know what to do. I know that I have to take a chance eventually or be alone forever. But how do I know that we are ready now? I don't want to miss the chance though. Wow, there is a lot to think about and decide.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Headaches
I seem to be having a lot of headaches lately. I don't know why. I guess that I should schedule a doctor's appointment. Honestly, I am afraid that something will be wrong that I don't want to deal with. I had a brain tumor as a small child. They told us there was possibility that it might return. I doubt that really what is going on. Just having that to be a possibility, however, puts me off from being examined.
I know that I should want to find out as quickly as possible if it's something like that. I don't. Am I scared? Yes, of course I am. If I get sick, who will watch after my daughters? My parents? Yes, they would, But they not prepared to raise twins at their ages.
I suppose that it would be better to find out now so that I can make arraignments for them if I need to. I just can't bring myself to do it, you know? I feel immortal. Like nothing can touch me. If I have a life threatening brain tumor my illusions will be destroyed.
Yes, I suppose that's it really. I don't want to feel human when I have been untouchable for so long.
I know that I should want to find out as quickly as possible if it's something like that. I don't. Am I scared? Yes, of course I am. If I get sick, who will watch after my daughters? My parents? Yes, they would, But they not prepared to raise twins at their ages.
I suppose that it would be better to find out now so that I can make arraignments for them if I need to. I just can't bring myself to do it, you know? I feel immortal. Like nothing can touch me. If I have a life threatening brain tumor my illusions will be destroyed.
Yes, I suppose that's it really. I don't want to feel human when I have been untouchable for so long.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
A Day In The Life
How is this working out for me? Well, it's good. But it's busy and the days are long!
I get up about 5:30 AM. This is my quiet time. That's when I straighten up the house, take a shower and get dressed, then fix the girls' breakfast while they are still sleeping. It's difficult to do much of anything with two little cyclones running around. I also check my email before I wake the girls.
Usually I wake the girls at 7:00 AM, give or take 30 minutes depending on what time I need go et to the shop. Sometimes I have special orders that I need to get together or finish and get to get in a bit earlier. Sometimes I have everything done the night before and don't need to get in so early. After the girls wake up, it gets hectic!
Breakfast is always fun. I don't mean that sarcastically at all. This usually my favorite time of the day. Ember and Kaida sit in their highchairs, in their PJ's, eating and sometimes throwing their food. They laugh and chatter. I love to watch them early in the morning with their little sleepy eyes. I love to hear their excited babbling and the few words they know. I sit back and take it in. This is what I did all this for in the first place. Seeing them learning and playing, laughing and growing. That is what is fun.
Getting the girls dressed can be a battle. Often it's a bit like putting clothes on a squirrel. They are still wanting to play. They twist and turn and climb, while I chase them around. I admit that it can be frustrating. Particularly if I am in a hurry. But sitting here now, telling you all about it, I can laugh. Yes, these are part of the fun times too.
It's about a 25 minute drive from our house to my shop in Christchurch. I open the shop at 9 Am but I like to get there by 8:30 AM if at all possible, if not earlier. I hate to open the shop in a rush. It takes a few minutes to unpack the car and get the girls settled in the little playroom I have set up in the back storeroom. It's a wonderful place for them to hang out. There are lots of toys they can play with. Lots of animals and dolls. I also have a television set up with a DVD so they can watch video cartoons and animal videos if they want. They usually don't sit still long enough for that though.
When I open the shop, if there are customers I will chat with them or help them if they need it. Most of my regulars want to see the girls also, so either I bring them out or the customers will pop into the back. One lady, in particular comes in at least 2 or 3 times a week just to see the girls. She will sit in the back and play with them for a while. She is an older lady without grandchildren. I suppose Kaida and Ember are bit of a substitute. I have this lady since I started working in the shop, years before I owned it.
In between customers, I make crafts and things to sell. I love making pagan themed crafts, such as wands, jewelry, chalices, and other things that can be used in rituals or decorating. That's why I love the shop so much. It allows me to make crafts and money at the same time.
When it's time for the girl's lunch, I microwave what I brought for them. I usually cook lots of food on the weekends and freeze it. That way, all we have to do is microwave it and it's almost like having a fresh cooked meal when I don't have time to cook. They eat lunch much the same way they eat breakfast, loud and messy. There is a lot of cleaning up to do when they are finished! After lunch, it's time for their naps. Sometimes they go right to sleep after they eat, sometimes not.
While the girls are napping, I clean up their lunch mess and have my lunch. Of course, that depends on customers but there isn't usually much going on around lunch time. After my lunch, it's back to crafting or research or doing the accounts. I don't really have a set schedule on when I do what. It just depends on what is a priority for the day. I also try to make my incense, or oils, whatever requires herbs or other things like that, while the girls are sleeping. It's too tempting for them if they are awake.
I close the shop at 5:00 PM unless there is some event going on that might bring people in later. Then it's home for the night. The girls and I play outside if it's still daylight left. If it's dark, there is screened back porch on our house that we play in. It's almost like playing outside. The girls certainly consider it outside. I prepare supper around 7:30 PM. Sometimes we have friends over, or my parents might drop in. The one thing that my mother admits I am good at is cooking. It's a bit of a triumph for me, I must admit. Of course, I am vegan and for most part feed my girls the same way. She doesn't think that's right at all. I can live with it. I have lived with a lot worse criticism from her.
Bath time is a great time as well. It's messy and water gets everywhere. I thinks that's all part of it and it's fun. I bath both girls at once, so they play and splash water. I am usually just as wet at the end of it as they are. Then it's back to getting dressed, this time in PJ's, and chasing the squirrels around the bed.
With any luck, the girls will be tired and go to sleep pretty quickly. But that doesn't always happen. Either while they are sleeping or playing, I come online and check my email, do my blog, go on myspace or Cafemom. I usually spend too much time online and get to bed way to late.
I try to be in bed my 12:00 AM. Sometimes the girls have other ideas. Last night, for example, it was very nearly 3:00 AM before Kaida went to sleep. Today, I admit, I am tired! I can't wait to get back in bed. It's not going to happen for a while yet though. Oh well, it's worth it!
Well, that's a day in the life of me, six days a week at least. I will tell you about Sundays tomorrow!
I get up about 5:30 AM. This is my quiet time. That's when I straighten up the house, take a shower and get dressed, then fix the girls' breakfast while they are still sleeping. It's difficult to do much of anything with two little cyclones running around. I also check my email before I wake the girls.
Usually I wake the girls at 7:00 AM, give or take 30 minutes depending on what time I need go et to the shop. Sometimes I have special orders that I need to get together or finish and get to get in a bit earlier. Sometimes I have everything done the night before and don't need to get in so early. After the girls wake up, it gets hectic!
Breakfast is always fun. I don't mean that sarcastically at all. This usually my favorite time of the day. Ember and Kaida sit in their highchairs, in their PJ's, eating and sometimes throwing their food. They laugh and chatter. I love to watch them early in the morning with their little sleepy eyes. I love to hear their excited babbling and the few words they know. I sit back and take it in. This is what I did all this for in the first place. Seeing them learning and playing, laughing and growing. That is what is fun.
Getting the girls dressed can be a battle. Often it's a bit like putting clothes on a squirrel. They are still wanting to play. They twist and turn and climb, while I chase them around. I admit that it can be frustrating. Particularly if I am in a hurry. But sitting here now, telling you all about it, I can laugh. Yes, these are part of the fun times too.
It's about a 25 minute drive from our house to my shop in Christchurch. I open the shop at 9 Am but I like to get there by 8:30 AM if at all possible, if not earlier. I hate to open the shop in a rush. It takes a few minutes to unpack the car and get the girls settled in the little playroom I have set up in the back storeroom. It's a wonderful place for them to hang out. There are lots of toys they can play with. Lots of animals and dolls. I also have a television set up with a DVD so they can watch video cartoons and animal videos if they want. They usually don't sit still long enough for that though.
When I open the shop, if there are customers I will chat with them or help them if they need it. Most of my regulars want to see the girls also, so either I bring them out or the customers will pop into the back. One lady, in particular comes in at least 2 or 3 times a week just to see the girls. She will sit in the back and play with them for a while. She is an older lady without grandchildren. I suppose Kaida and Ember are bit of a substitute. I have this lady since I started working in the shop, years before I owned it.
In between customers, I make crafts and things to sell. I love making pagan themed crafts, such as wands, jewelry, chalices, and other things that can be used in rituals or decorating. That's why I love the shop so much. It allows me to make crafts and money at the same time.
When it's time for the girl's lunch, I microwave what I brought for them. I usually cook lots of food on the weekends and freeze it. That way, all we have to do is microwave it and it's almost like having a fresh cooked meal when I don't have time to cook. They eat lunch much the same way they eat breakfast, loud and messy. There is a lot of cleaning up to do when they are finished! After lunch, it's time for their naps. Sometimes they go right to sleep after they eat, sometimes not.
While the girls are napping, I clean up their lunch mess and have my lunch. Of course, that depends on customers but there isn't usually much going on around lunch time. After my lunch, it's back to crafting or research or doing the accounts. I don't really have a set schedule on when I do what. It just depends on what is a priority for the day. I also try to make my incense, or oils, whatever requires herbs or other things like that, while the girls are sleeping. It's too tempting for them if they are awake.
I close the shop at 5:00 PM unless there is some event going on that might bring people in later. Then it's home for the night. The girls and I play outside if it's still daylight left. If it's dark, there is screened back porch on our house that we play in. It's almost like playing outside. The girls certainly consider it outside. I prepare supper around 7:30 PM. Sometimes we have friends over, or my parents might drop in. The one thing that my mother admits I am good at is cooking. It's a bit of a triumph for me, I must admit. Of course, I am vegan and for most part feed my girls the same way. She doesn't think that's right at all. I can live with it. I have lived with a lot worse criticism from her.
Bath time is a great time as well. It's messy and water gets everywhere. I thinks that's all part of it and it's fun. I bath both girls at once, so they play and splash water. I am usually just as wet at the end of it as they are. Then it's back to getting dressed, this time in PJ's, and chasing the squirrels around the bed.
With any luck, the girls will be tired and go to sleep pretty quickly. But that doesn't always happen. Either while they are sleeping or playing, I come online and check my email, do my blog, go on myspace or Cafemom. I usually spend too much time online and get to bed way to late.
I try to be in bed my 12:00 AM. Sometimes the girls have other ideas. Last night, for example, it was very nearly 3:00 AM before Kaida went to sleep. Today, I admit, I am tired! I can't wait to get back in bed. It's not going to happen for a while yet though. Oh well, it's worth it!
Well, that's a day in the life of me, six days a week at least. I will tell you about Sundays tomorrow!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Ember and Kaida
Have you ever watched identical twins playing together? It's very interesting. Ember and Kaida are my identical twin daughters. They turned 15 months old today. Watching them playing together is like watching a movie. Either it's as if you are looking at two sides of a mirror or it's like watching an action movie.
Often they will sit side by side playing exactly the same thing. They talk alot. Most of it is babble with a few meaningful words thrown into the mix. Although I rarely know what's going on or what they are saying, they seem to understand each other perfectly. These are the fun times. I like to videotape them. Later I plan on making a movie from them to have when they are older.
Then there are the action movie times. These are the times you will want to bring popcorn and a comfortable chair to. They run, they chase, they squeal, they laugh, they jump, they dance, they talk, they sign. Ah, they make a mess! Yes, they fight. Boy do they ever fight!
Sometimes they tie up and it's hard to separate them. They are bad about pulling each other's hair. It's a stage I hope. Kaida hit Ember in the face with a plastic truck a week ago. Ember bites too. That's always fun. They both have lots of teeth already.
I don't mind so much that they fight. I think that it would be unnatural if they didn't fight. They are perfectly normal little girls, even if they are growing up in a way that is a bit unconventional.
They are very sweet children. They look like me. I am glad of that. I as was a little afraid that maybe they would end up looking like their anonymous father. I didn't want that. I know that one day they will ask me about their father. Although I am not sure what I will tell them. The truth, I suppose. I don't believe in lying to children. I wonder how they will take it. What questions will they ask? It's going to be quite an experience. I hope that between now and then, I will be able to come up with a really good answer. I hope they don't resent me for this decision that I have made. I hope they don't think me selfish. I hope.
Often they will sit side by side playing exactly the same thing. They talk alot. Most of it is babble with a few meaningful words thrown into the mix. Although I rarely know what's going on or what they are saying, they seem to understand each other perfectly. These are the fun times. I like to videotape them. Later I plan on making a movie from them to have when they are older.
Then there are the action movie times. These are the times you will want to bring popcorn and a comfortable chair to. They run, they chase, they squeal, they laugh, they jump, they dance, they talk, they sign. Ah, they make a mess! Yes, they fight. Boy do they ever fight!
Sometimes they tie up and it's hard to separate them. They are bad about pulling each other's hair. It's a stage I hope. Kaida hit Ember in the face with a plastic truck a week ago. Ember bites too. That's always fun. They both have lots of teeth already.
I don't mind so much that they fight. I think that it would be unnatural if they didn't fight. They are perfectly normal little girls, even if they are growing up in a way that is a bit unconventional.
They are very sweet children. They look like me. I am glad of that. I as was a little afraid that maybe they would end up looking like their anonymous father. I didn't want that. I know that one day they will ask me about their father. Although I am not sure what I will tell them. The truth, I suppose. I don't believe in lying to children. I wonder how they will take it. What questions will they ask? It's going to be quite an experience. I hope that between now and then, I will be able to come up with a really good answer. I hope they don't resent me for this decision that I have made. I hope they don't think me selfish. I hope.
My Reasons Continued
The thing that you really need to understand is that I am ferociously independent. I have been since I was a child. I think that I know it all, even if logically that doesn't make sense. I am an only child and both of my parents worked long hours when I was growing up. I learned to depend only on myself. Too many broken promises will do that to a child. Maybe if I had a brother or sister, things would have turned out differently. Who knows?
That Independence is the reason that I thought I could raise a child on my own, without a man. Plenty of women do it. Some by choice, some not. Did I think that it would be easy? No. Certainly it would be hard. There was a lot to think about. I had my shop to think of after all. What would I do with the baby while I was working. Take her or him to work with me is what I decided. I did not count on it being two babies. Twice the work. Still, I thought that I could do it. After all, the shop is not all that busy. Yes, I do a good business. People trickle in and out all day. Most of them I know. They would understand if I need to go and get a crying baby, or two. Most of my time at work is actually spent making crafts to sell. It has become something of a speciality. People come back every week to see what new items I have made. I could always stop to breastfeed or change a diaper.
The other problem was my living arraignments. I lived in a small apartment above my shop. It is big enough for when they are small, but as they grow we would out grow it. Also, Christchurch is a lovely city. However, I wanted my girls to be able to go out and play in the yard. There's no yard at my shop.
So at 6 months pregnant with twins and single, I bought as house in a village outside of the city. It's lovely. We have a nice, big back yard for the girls to play in.
I have to tell you. I got more than a few odd looks and strange questions associated with all of
this. How could I possibly have the money to buy a house and raise twins on my own? I'll be honest, it's a struggle. I do tarot card and rune reading to supplement my income. I have expanded what I carry in my shop. I mentor people in Wicca, but can't in good concinsence charge for that. Most all of them buy from my shop though as a sign of gratitude.
As I look back on things now, 15 months after my twins were born, I also wonder what I was thinking. It was a crazy decision that I made. The process of getting pregnant was extremely expensive in and of itself. Then when you add all the other stuff to it, it's really outrageous. So I guess it comes back to the question of why I would do such a thing.
When I look at my daughters' big, brown eyes and black, curly hair; their sweet smiles and wet kisses. My heart knows it was the right thing to do . It doesn't really matter to me what anyone else thinks of the situation. We are making it okay and having a lot o fun along the way. Hey, that's what counts the most right?
That Independence is the reason that I thought I could raise a child on my own, without a man. Plenty of women do it. Some by choice, some not. Did I think that it would be easy? No. Certainly it would be hard. There was a lot to think about. I had my shop to think of after all. What would I do with the baby while I was working. Take her or him to work with me is what I decided. I did not count on it being two babies. Twice the work. Still, I thought that I could do it. After all, the shop is not all that busy. Yes, I do a good business. People trickle in and out all day. Most of them I know. They would understand if I need to go and get a crying baby, or two. Most of my time at work is actually spent making crafts to sell. It has become something of a speciality. People come back every week to see what new items I have made. I could always stop to breastfeed or change a diaper.
The other problem was my living arraignments. I lived in a small apartment above my shop. It is big enough for when they are small, but as they grow we would out grow it. Also, Christchurch is a lovely city. However, I wanted my girls to be able to go out and play in the yard. There's no yard at my shop.
So at 6 months pregnant with twins and single, I bought as house in a village outside of the city. It's lovely. We have a nice, big back yard for the girls to play in.
I have to tell you. I got more than a few odd looks and strange questions associated with all of
this. How could I possibly have the money to buy a house and raise twins on my own? I'll be honest, it's a struggle. I do tarot card and rune reading to supplement my income. I have expanded what I carry in my shop. I mentor people in Wicca, but can't in good concinsence charge for that. Most all of them buy from my shop though as a sign of gratitude.
As I look back on things now, 15 months after my twins were born, I also wonder what I was thinking. It was a crazy decision that I made. The process of getting pregnant was extremely expensive in and of itself. Then when you add all the other stuff to it, it's really outrageous. So I guess it comes back to the question of why I would do such a thing.
When I look at my daughters' big, brown eyes and black, curly hair; their sweet smiles and wet kisses. My heart knows it was the right thing to do . It doesn't really matter to me what anyone else thinks of the situation. We are making it okay and having a lot o fun along the way. Hey, that's what counts the most right?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
My Reasons
People often ask me why I do the things I do. Heehee. If I knew that, things might be different. No. That's not the truth. I wouldn't change anything. What's so different about me? Well not much really. I don't feel odd or different or even very interesting to be honest.
Yes, I decided at 26 to have twin girls on my own. No, that's not quite true. I decided at 26 to have a child on my own. The twins part was a great surprise. I went through an artificial insemination process to get pregnant. I just never meet a man I thought prefect enough to make a child with. No one is prefect? Maybe that's why I couldn't find him then.
I named my daughters Kaida and Ember. I looked up unique names online and those names called to me. Kaida, it said means dragon and Ember means eternal flame. Most people seem to like the names but not my mother. I will write more about my mother later. She will require a few posts, I think. "Why?" she asks. "Because." I say. I could never explain why these names spoke to me to my mother. Not her.
Eight years ago I became Wiccan. That's not strictly true I guess. I have always felt a deep connection with Wicca. I just never had anyone to help me on my journey. I don't learn from books very well. So it was a problem. Then I met a wonderful lady to mentored me. She was an American lady that I met while going to university in the States. She bought a witch's shop here in New Zealand. She took me under her wing. To this day, she is more of a mother to me than my own mother.
Please don't misunderstand. I love my mother. However, she is more of a mother to be feared and revered than to sit a discuss things with.
Back to the story now. When my friend decided to return to the States, she gave me her shop. Yes that's right. he simply signed it over to me. She doesn't have children to be upset about it. My mother was upset of course, but rarely can I make her happy.
Once I got settled into the shop. I started longing to have a child. No prefect man, so I did it all alone. When I was told that there was twins, I was shocked. I had no idea if I could raise two children at once. But I had to try.
Yes, I decided at 26 to have twin girls on my own. No, that's not quite true. I decided at 26 to have a child on my own. The twins part was a great surprise. I went through an artificial insemination process to get pregnant. I just never meet a man I thought prefect enough to make a child with. No one is prefect? Maybe that's why I couldn't find him then.
I named my daughters Kaida and Ember. I looked up unique names online and those names called to me. Kaida, it said means dragon and Ember means eternal flame. Most people seem to like the names but not my mother. I will write more about my mother later. She will require a few posts, I think. "Why?" she asks. "Because." I say. I could never explain why these names spoke to me to my mother. Not her.
Eight years ago I became Wiccan. That's not strictly true I guess. I have always felt a deep connection with Wicca. I just never had anyone to help me on my journey. I don't learn from books very well. So it was a problem. Then I met a wonderful lady to mentored me. She was an American lady that I met while going to university in the States. She bought a witch's shop here in New Zealand. She took me under her wing. To this day, she is more of a mother to me than my own mother.
Please don't misunderstand. I love my mother. However, she is more of a mother to be feared and revered than to sit a discuss things with.
Back to the story now. When my friend decided to return to the States, she gave me her shop. Yes that's right. he simply signed it over to me. She doesn't have children to be upset about it. My mother was upset of course, but rarely can I make her happy.
Once I got settled into the shop. I started longing to have a child. No prefect man, so I did it all alone. When I was told that there was twins, I was shocked. I had no idea if I could raise two children at once. But I had to try.
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